My Worst Trait | Jealousy

Jealously: the feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages.

Jealously is such an ugly trait, because it can literally control your life. Unfortunately, I can get extremely jealous very easily, which is the number one thing I would change about myself. It destroys me so much, but the feeling that actually gets me really upset is when I think "That would never happen to me" because that one saying, that one repetitive statement that spirals my mind makes me feel absolutely melancholy. This is because for some reason every time I get jealous, I get in that mind set that it wouldn't happen to me because I'm me, but I'm no different to others who all thought the same.

There is a word called 'Sonder' which means 

"the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as our own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk." 

(credit to obscure sorrows)

We all live lives as real and vivid as your own, we all experience feelings, from ecstatic to depression, excitement to jealously. It's never just an individual feeling, everyone at some point felt the same thing, everyone at some point thought that 'it would never happen to me', but if it happened to them, it must happen to you at some point. 

Good things do happen to other people, but they also happen to us too. Like the picture says, Jealously is when you count someone else's blessings instead of your own. No matter what your life is like, I can guarantee something has made you happy in your life before, whether it was just momentarily or it really made you giddy. Something has made you feel happy that you are you, that you are the person experiencing this moment, and that is a blessing. 

We all get in this mind shape that other people have the best thing, that the memories or possessions we own don't scale up to the items or memories we desire. but of course they do. If they didn't, why would we call them our memories or possessions? to give things or simple imaginary scenes of the past such a high name must mean that they are precious to us. If we gave them to another person they would be worthless, because they don't mean anything to anybody else.

We focus on all the negatives in our life but don't concentrate on what we do have, subconsciously we take everything for granted. We all have so much to be happy for & I definitely need to keep telling myself this.

How to deal with jealously:
♥  Be happy for them, you would want them to be happy for you if something good happened to you.

♥  Don't make them feel bad for it, nobody should be made to feel bad because of their happiness.

♥  Appreciate that they most likely deserve it, for just being a nice person or if going through a hard time
(I know it's annoying that some people get everything when they don't deserve it as much as others, but be the bigger person and be happy for them. If they are only telling you to make you jealous, don't be mean about it but just acknowledge this and be happy for them.)

♥ Don't push them away, even if it does hurt you, you need to remember they most likely didn't have any bad intentions.
(If they did, then read the previous point and  be the better person)

♥  Turn your jealously into motivation, Jealously is just a word for "I want that", so why not get it? Believe me, I understand that that is easier said than done, but motivate yourself to do whatever makes you happy.
The one thing I have learnt is never try and predict life. There is no reason good things won't happen to you.

♥ Don't disrepct what they are proud of because you're jealous, try not to be like "oh that's not that awesome that you can paint really well" or "pft you met that band I really like? pft that's not that cool or amazing" because it will make them feel worthless and probably lonely, and nobody  is completely worthless, we all mean something to someone. 

♥  You may think "I need that more" or " I deserve that more" and don't feel bad about that, because it's humans nature to fend for ourselves so you would obviously want the best for yourself.

♥ Don't sweat it, good things will happen!

So to conclude, don't over-think why you didn't get that cool top or whatever, because you have a lot to be happy about. Yes you may not have that cool top, but why not go out and find a different cool top? Also, consider what you have & don't lose hope. Chances are, it's not the end of the world, just breathe and put on your favourite song.

~Thanks for reading~

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