My Worst Trait | Jealousy

Jealously: the feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages.

Jealously is such an ugly trait, because it can literally control your life. Unfortunately, I can get extremely jealous very easily, which is the number one thing I would change about myself. It destroys me so much, but the feeling that actually gets me really upset is when I think "That would never happen to me" because that one saying, that one repetitive statement that spirals my mind makes me feel absolutely melancholy. This is because for some reason every time I get jealous, I get in that mind set that it wouldn't happen to me because I'm me, but I'm no different to others who all thought the same.

There is a word called 'Sonder' which means 

"the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as our own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk." 

(credit to obscure sorrows)

We all live lives as real and vivid as your own, we all experience feelings, from ecstatic to depression, excitement to jealously. It's never just an individual feeling, everyone at some point felt the same thing, everyone at some point thought that 'it would never happen to me', but if it happened to them, it must happen to you at some point. 

Good things do happen to other people, but they also happen to us too. Like the picture says, Jealously is when you count someone else's blessings instead of your own. No matter what your life is like, I can guarantee something has made you happy in your life before, whether it was just momentarily or it really made you giddy. Something has made you feel happy that you are you, that you are the person experiencing this moment, and that is a blessing. 

We all get in this mind shape that other people have the best thing, that the memories or possessions we own don't scale up to the items or memories we desire. but of course they do. If they didn't, why would we call them our memories or possessions? to give things or simple imaginary scenes of the past such a high name must mean that they are precious to us. If we gave them to another person they would be worthless, because they don't mean anything to anybody else.

We focus on all the negatives in our life but don't concentrate on what we do have, subconsciously we take everything for granted. We all have so much to be happy for & I definitely need to keep telling myself this.

How to deal with jealously:
♥  Be happy for them, you would want them to be happy for you if something good happened to you.

♥  Don't make them feel bad for it, nobody should be made to feel bad because of their happiness.

♥  Appreciate that they most likely deserve it, for just being a nice person or if going through a hard time
(I know it's annoying that some people get everything when they don't deserve it as much as others, but be the bigger person and be happy for them. If they are only telling you to make you jealous, don't be mean about it but just acknowledge this and be happy for them.)

♥ Don't push them away, even if it does hurt you, you need to remember they most likely didn't have any bad intentions.
(If they did, then read the previous point and  be the better person)

♥  Turn your jealously into motivation, Jealously is just a word for "I want that", so why not get it? Believe me, I understand that that is easier said than done, but motivate yourself to do whatever makes you happy.
The one thing I have learnt is never try and predict life. There is no reason good things won't happen to you.

♥ Don't disrepct what they are proud of because you're jealous, try not to be like "oh that's not that awesome that you can paint really well" or "pft you met that band I really like? pft that's not that cool or amazing" because it will make them feel worthless and probably lonely, and nobody  is completely worthless, we all mean something to someone. 

♥  You may think "I need that more" or " I deserve that more" and don't feel bad about that, because it's humans nature to fend for ourselves so you would obviously want the best for yourself.

♥ Don't sweat it, good things will happen!

So to conclude, don't over-think why you didn't get that cool top or whatever, because you have a lot to be happy about. Yes you may not have that cool top, but why not go out and find a different cool top? Also, consider what you have & don't lose hope. Chances are, it's not the end of the world, just breathe and put on your favourite song.

~Thanks for reading~

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Bastille Live!

Hello everyone! I am so sorry that I haven't wrote a decent post in ages, school has just been so stressful at the moment but now I thought would be a perfect time to chat:)

So yesterday (Wednesday) Me, Holly and Lauren went to see Bastille live again! This was my second time seeing them so I knew what dreams were about to come true, but this was the first time Lauren was to see Bastille, So I was slightly excited just thinking about the look on her face when they start playing...

So yesterday after school, us three busily rushed off to go and get changed so we could head to Portsmouth, where we were seeing Bastille as fast as we could, and with a quick Maccy'Ds stop, we arrived at the venue at 4:45. At the time, we were thinking "ah you know, the queue is going to be massive but it will still be a great gig" but when we arrived, there were only about 12 people in front of us! We hurriedly joined the queue and stayed there for 2 hours, before we rushed into the main hall where we grabbed barrier front spots! I can now say that I have been barrier front at a bastille concert!

The support acts were extremely good! you can see the band's name below :) 

Within 10 minutes of Bastille's hour long set, Dan Smith (the singer) had already spotted me and pointed at me!! Then later on, he saw me and Lauren dancing and laughed whilst raising his eyebrows at us, then when I was getting some water he was watching me which made me drop the water (oops). Also later on, he came over and sang the lyric "Hold my hands" to me and we both smiled...I am one lucky girl! Despite all this, Will (The guitarist) was lovely and kept glancing at me and my friends! I then got to hug Woody when he leaned into the crowd :')

I have to say, Bastille are one of the best bands anyone can say live! For example, during their song "flaws" Dan dissapeared off the stage and appeared on the top balcony, so all the fans up there got to hug him and see him up close which I thought was very thoughtful! 

As I am writing this now, I am smiling so hard that my cheeks are hurting! Definately shall be seeing these boys again for the 3rd time :)

Tour name: Bad Blood

Support Acts: Bipolar Sunshine & To kill a king 

 Me and Lauren :) (Lauren's on the left)

 Holly, Lauren & Me in that order :)

 To kill a king

 To Kill a king

 To kill a king

 Thank you for reading!

Internet volcabulary | Shipping, Fandoms & Fanfiction

Hello everyone! So after spending mass amounts of time on the internet these past 5 weeks (it's the summer holidays) I have realised how foreign the internet can be to so many people, especially the older generation. What I mean by this is that over the last 5 years, 'fandoms' have been created, by word of mouth, people, films, bands, TV series etc have now got a massive following. In these fandoms, new words have been created and more words now have different meanings. So with the ever-changing world, I thought I would go over some words which I & and millions of others use :-)

"Shipping"

This is a commonly used term on the internet which I have used in previous posts. It is normally used around two celebrities who are with each other a lot. Shipping means that the fans of those two people will pretend that they are in a relationship (hence 'shipping') & many people ship celebrities in an romantic way, however most likely that the pairing is two males as the people who ship the most are teenage girls, who are most known as 'Shippers'

An example?

For example, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson from One Direction are often shipped together because they always look at each-other in a certain way or have a very close friendship, that's all it takes for a fandom to say "oh they must be in love!". However instead of just saying the "Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson shipping" You merge the two names together to create "Larry Stylinson" which is the name of the relationship, or 'Larry' for short. Another example would be 'Zalfie' the shipping of Zoe from Zoella and Alfie from Pointlessblog. 

Sometimes, people say "my ship has sailed" implying that two people who you ship are in an official relationship, like 'Zalfie' is genuinely real. On the other hand, some people might say "my ship has sunk" if the two people who you 'ship' have had a falling out or both married, something like that.

Can you only ship one couple at a time?

Absolutely not, many people have multiple 'ships'. However, there is something called an 'OTP' which stands for One True Pairing. This is the ship that you most believe in and put all your effort in to believe that it is real, basically your overall favourite ship.

*If you want to ship people, go wild but the internet (especially twitter and tumblr) are very sensitive over shipping. All you have to do is not offend anyone's OTP by saying "It's fake" because they will get mad at you 70% of the time and please respect other peoples views*

Ironic Abbreviation

This factor is so commonly used that I was blind to it until Mr Dan Howell aka Danisnotonfire cleverly pointed it out in a video called "Ironic Appreciation". Basically, in 2012 using the words 'lol' or 'brb' so was 'uncool' shall we say that you might as well be shunned to hell, that's how unaccepted it was. Then in 2013, people started Ironically saying things like "lol" and "brb" as a type of mockery to previous years. However over the course of the year, so many people are using text talk ironically that it has become serious and people, including myself, are genuinely using text talk seriously.

So as you know there are the common "Lol" which means laugh out loud and "brb" which means be right back, but now things have to developed into "s2g" which means Swear to god (for example, "s2g if my otp is real i will cry") or "ygm" which means "you get me" ("i s2g if my otp is real i will cry ygm")

The more most popular people in the fanbase use text talk the most, as it's funny and will get retweets.

Emotive Words

Seeing as there is a lot of emotion on the internet due to obsessions and bands etc etc, the use of capitals and adjectives has become very common. However, it is always very unclear which emotion the fangirl is trying to portray. For example, the use of upper and lower case can represent anger, excitement & humour ('I'm scREAMING)

Adjectives can also portray didn't emotions. "I'm crying" for example could mean happiness,anger,sadness or excitement. 'Crying' is the most common adjective however now people use words such as 'sobbing' or 'snorting' depending on how intense the feeling is.

Fandoms

oh god, where do I start? well, people who are fans of something are called fangirls as the majority of the fans are girls. (Also, fangirls are known to be excessively obsessed) A group of fangirls create a fandom, a magical place where you can rave about your favourite thing with many others like yourself without your parents telling you to "stop talking about that boy" or "you have already made me listen to that album 4 times". 

However, obviously in fandoms everything becomes more intense because more people see the same beauty it whatever you obsess over, and 'ships' are born, then obsessively wrote about in 'fanfictions'

Fanfictions are very creative I would say and are stories about your 'otp' forming a relationship. However, they are mostly horrifically sexually and I, personally don't read them because i will probably throw-up everything I had previously eaten within the last 9 years. 

((be careful when joining a fandom because they are ife destroying and you end up just on twitter for days on end, I come from personal experience))

Well there you have it, now you are ready to enter the internet! I hope you enjoyed this post, I tried to use a style of "act like being internet-obsessed is an actual art so that I have a talent" ha! 

Also, sorry if this offended you in anyway because I can see how it could be slightly patronising, but I wrote with the best intentions :-)

~Thanks for reading!~

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My Reaction to 'Zalfie' | Fangirl view

Hello everyone!! this blog post is very out of context & may not make any sense but I just need to say my opinion about 'Zalfie' (The relationship name of Zoella and PointlessBlog) 

First off, I know this isn't any of my business but I just love them so so much, I just want them to know (if they ever saw this) that I 100% support them and agree with every decision they made!

For months and months, my twitter feed was spammed with "ZALFIE OMG1!!1!1!" whenever either Zoe or Alfie uploaded a photo together, and this is why I felt bad for them! It seemed as if they couldn't go one day with people automatically assuming that they were a couple ,when at this point they weren't. Can you imagine how annoying that would be? so well done to both of them for handling it so well!! I have to admit, I did think that they would make a cute couple (which they do) and I'm not denying this, but I had enough sense to know the difference between a joke and an invasion of privacy.

Then about 3 days ago, a close friend of their's called Jim Chapman was innocently vlogging his trip to Vidcon in LA, when in the corner of the video was an image of what everyone correctly suspected to be Alfie and Zoe together as someones laptop background. Bless him, poor Jim must of been feeling terrible for accidentally relieving 'Zalfie' when neither of them were ready to announce it! but Jim (if you see this) It was not your fault and an innocent mistake to make, nobody hated you! If anything, we all were worried that it had ruined your friendship with both Alfie and Zoe and we are so happy that it hasn't! 

Now that's out of the way, this is the actual fangirl view on 'Zalfie': perfect. I cannot even express how proud I am of both of them for handling this sticky situation in the best way possible. I was so so worried that since Zoe has severe anxiety, she would panic to this sudden unveiling of her relationship and I still don't know if she didn't, but based on her 'Zalfie'  post, it looked like she handled it perfectly and I am so proud that she did not let it get to her too badly, because that would have made me and most other fans extremely upset. 

Overall, this was such a brave thing to announce to very hormonal and excitable teenagers and I have so much respect for both Alfie and Zoe for following their hearts despite what their fans wanted, and more like ordered. 

Also, they have asked to keep their relationship private as they want their relationship to be between each-other as it rightly should, and I know that posting this probably is breaking that ask, but I just wanted both of them to know that I, along with thousands of others completely support there decision

and after this post, I promise not to mention it ever again :)

From the whole fanbase, we wish them both loads of happiest and we're so happy that they are happy together :)

Thank you for reading if you did, but I don't mind if you didn't because this is a pretty picky post that could be hard to understand! 

♥

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More Feelings

Hello Everyone! This is going to be another long deep post, just a heads up!

I'm going to be honest, I am thinking about closing my blog. This isn't because I don't want it anymore but it's because I have turned my blog into a job, which if you read my last post, you would know that when a hobby turns into a job, it becomes something to put off and another thing to worry about. It's got to a point where I literally think "ugh, it's time to write another post" and I have a strong feeling that this has come across in my posts. I used to enjoy writing posts, but then I started writing posts that I would appeal to more people, about things that I didn't have an interest in. 

Also, loads of people have said my posts are good but if don't have confidence in them, they can't go very far! If I wasn't me and this wasn't my blog, I wouldn't it these posts because to but it plainly, they're boring. I don't have a very exciting life or many interests worth reading about, so why I have a blog is beyond me. 

People who have blog dedicated to there interests are the ones who do well because it comes across in the posts how much enthusiasm and genuine interest they have. For example, Beauty blogs are always amazing because they are run by beauty enthusiasts, but me, I don't wear much make-up so I have nothing to talk about, nothing to review! I am genuinely interested in Beauty but haven't tried many products. 

What I have distinguished from having a blog is that you needed to know what you're aiming for, how you want the audience to feel and who that audience will be. But because I am extremely indecisive, I'm not aiming for anything and I think that makes my blog pointless I guess.  

My orginial purpose of my blog was to be orginial and unique, to not have a subject theme so that I can talk about anything and everything. Yes, it is extremely entertaining writing about anything you want but it can also lead to extremes on both ends: Extremely exciting or extremely boring posts, and my post seem to be on the extremely boring side as I literally don't have anything going on in my life other than exams.

Which makes me think that thats why my blog is boring, because I am too young to have something worth blogging about. I'm not old enough to go and do exciting things on my own, I'm not old enough to go on road trips and meet new people, and these are genuinely what make-up an interesting lifestyle blog that are worth reading about.

Lets be honest here, who really wants to read about a 14 (almost 15) year old girl's life?

Who wants to read about what I'm doing in between exams?

I wouldn't.

Referring to a previous point, because I have kept my posts to a certain schedule  It makes me reluctant to write posts. (I'm a teenager: It's our nature to rebel against things we need to do) So maybe I should un-schedule my posts? So that if there is something I want to write about, I will and if there isn't, then I won't. 

My mum always says that when you cook a meal, you are less hungry when it's ready, so maybe it's the same with blogging? I am the one who writes the posts and so I am the one who is not interested in them, because I know what's in it, I guess? (did that even make sense)
Overall, No, I'm not closing my blog but I won't be posting as often and yes I am sorry for that but if you have something for too long you get bored of it, so if I start to have a break, my interest will hopefully return.
What do you think? 

Thank you so much for reading, I needed to say this.
Carys xx
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'The Blog Wall' / Feelings

Hello Everyone! So I just need to say some things that have been on my mind lately, I hope you don't mind. I'm going to let you know now that this maybe confusing :)

Basically, You know when athletes (well, mostly runners) push themselves too hard mentally and they hit something called 'The Runners Wall'? If you don't, it's when a runner would hit a mental boundary which they find hard to defeat and stops them from running any further because they think "I literally can't do this anymore" and I think I've hit that but blogging-wise. I'm not thinking "I can't do this anymore" but I have noticed that my posts aren't doing as well and if i'm honest, nobody seems to be interested in them. I've never really been a positive thinker when it comes to doing things, I have never actually thought "I can do this", but I have always been really positive about blogging, always trying my best (when I can, I mean some posts haven't been any good because of issues such as family problems, no internet etc etc) but recently I'm just finding hard to write posts as I feel nobody really wants to read them. 

((I'm not saying I don't enjoy blogging, because I do a lot. I love thinking of new post ideas, writing and publishing them because I always get a weird sense of achievement like "I'm finally publishing something that is mine" and the fact that people take time to read them and comment on them means more than anything to me because it means some people have taken the time out of their lives to talk to me and give me feedback. There is no better feeling than when a post you actually believe is good does well and not only you, but other people are enjoying reading it too.But sometimes I write posts just to get it out on time, so that I don't miss a publishing date rather than thinking "is it any good?"))

Obviously, I am beyond grateful that people even stop scrolling to read my posts because If I was in your shoes, I don't honestly think I would stop because, well I don't think there is anything all that special about my blog, but then again there is nothing all that special about me and yet I still have friends. 

**I don't even know what I'm trying to say here, and I'm trying to say whatever it is i'm saying in the best intentions and I really am trying my hardest not to sound up myself. **

Ok, this is harder than I thought, right um basically my blog has it's ups and downs. For instance, I would have a really successfully month or so where my blog really takes off, but then I have a period of about 2 months where my blog just kind of sits there awkwardly in the corner. I don't own a blog to aim for fame, I have a blog because I what to make someone happy or at least entertained, because whenever I see something that makes me happy, I get inspired to do the same (hence why I made a blog because I was inspired by Zoella) so I'm not hanging on to every post hoping that it will fly sky high, but sometimes I just feel slightly dissapointed as It might of flopped, like most of my recent posts. All good things have to come to an end eventually (I'm not closing my blog if you were worried) so maybe I was so used to flying high that when I got back to reality it hurt? I think I have been so wound up in how many views each post gets that I have kind of forgot about the actual point of blogging: To publish a piece of writing that you wrote onto the internet, not compete for how many views each posts gets.((I'd just like to stress the fact that just because I'm going to stop focusing on views, does not mean I am eternally grateful for the views ok)) So, I'm going to take a step back, and forget about the views and concentrate on the quality of the post, kinda like a new me? :) 

So Hello, My name is Carys and I run a blog called 'Slightly Awkward Ginger' based on the fact that I'm ginger and awkward, but only slightly ;)

~ ♥Thank you for reading♥ ~

p.s I understand I have contradicted myself about 7989284812 times but I just needed to get that out there, I hope you understand me and don't think I'm up myself! 

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